Christmas time is one of the happiest seasons for all the kids around the world. Funny Christmas jokes bring even more cheer to the season. If you’re looking for jokes about Christmas, Santa, elves, reindeer, or anything else related to Christmas, then this collection is exactly what you’re looking for. Hope you enjoy sharing the laughter with your kids and family with these hilarious Christmas jokes we prepared for you!
Christmas Jokes for Kids
1. Q: What do angry mice send to each other in December?
A: Cross mouse cards.
2. Q: What do sheep say to each other at Christmas time?
A: Merry Christmas to ewe.
3. Q: What do sheep say to shepherds at Christmas time?
A: Season’s Bleatings.
4. Q: How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
A: Fleece Navidad.
5. Q: How do Chihuahua’s say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleas Navidog.
6. Q: What’s the best thing to put into Christmas dinner?
A: Your teeth.
7. Q: Why should Christmas dinner always be well done?
A: So you can say Merry Crispness.
8. A definition of Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santa-mental.
9. Q: What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time?
A: A sad candy cane.
10. Q: What did one Christmas cracker say to the other Christmas cracker?
A: My pop is bigger than yours.
11. Q: What do you call an elf who steals gift wrap from the rich and gives it to the poor?
A: Ribbon Hood.
12. Q: What comes at the end of Christmas Day?
A: The letter “Y”.
13. Q: What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A: The Christmas alphabet has “no EL”.
14. Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A: It’s Christmas, Eve.
15. Q: What happens if you eat too many Christmas decorations?
A: You get “Tinsel”-itis.
16. John: Do you ever buy any Christmas Seals?
Sonny: No, I wouldn’t know how to feed them.
17. Q: What is the best key to get at Christmas?
A: A turkey.
18. Q: What’s the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A: A list of everything you want.
19. Q: Why is it so cold at Christmas?
A: Because it’s in Decembrrrr.
20. Q: What kind of Christmas tree comes from Hawaii?
A: O Tanning Palms.
21. Q: What do wild animals sing at Christmastime?
A: Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way.
22. Q: What’s the favorite Christmas Carol of new parents?
A: Silent Night.
23. Q: Where do mistletoe go to become famous?
A: Holly-wood.
24. Q: What did one Christmas light say to the other Christmas light?
A: You light me up.
25. A Christmas thought: “Stressed” is just “desserts” spelled backward.
26. Q: Why do Mummies like Christmas so much?
A: Because of all the wrapping.
27. Q: Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?
A: Elephanta Claus.
28. Q: What do you call Santa if he goes down a lit chimney?
A: Crisp Cringle.
29. Q: How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?
A: Only one – after that, it’s not empty anymore.
30. Q: When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
A: In the dictionary.
31. Q: How do elves get to the top floor of Santa’s workshop?
A: They use the elfator.
32. Q: How did Santa describe the elf who refuses to take a bath?
A: He’s elfully smelly.
33. What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?
A: He got 12 months.
34. Q: Who says oh, oh, oh?
A: Santa Claus walking backwards.
35. Q: Who delivers Christmas presents to cats?
A: Santa Claws
36. Q: What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert?
A: Camel ye faithful.
37. Q: What color Christmas candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?
A: Neither – candles always burn shorter.
38. Q: What was the elf allergic to?
A: Sh-elf-ish.
39. Who delivers Christmas gifts to Luke Skywalker?
A: Star Claus.
40. Q: Who hides in the bakery during Christmas?
A: A mince spy.
41. Q: What goes ho-ho whoosh, ho-ho whoosh?
A: Santa caught in a revolving door.
42. What does Santa suffer from when he gets stuck in a chimney?
A: Santa Claustrophobia.
43. Q: Why does Santa do in his garden?
A: He hoe hoe hoes.
44. Q: What do reindeer have that no other animals have?
A: Baby reindeer.
45. Q: What do zombies put on their Christmas turkey?
A: Grave-y.
46. Q: Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs?
A: Santa Paws.
47. Q: What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn’t move?
A: Santa Pause.
48. Q: What kind of music do elves listen to?
A: Wrap.
49. Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claus-trophobic.
50. Q: Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
A: They both drop needles.
51 Q: What falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
A: Snow.
52. Q: What famous singer is a favorite of elves?
A: Elfish Presley.
53. Q: What song do monkeys sing at Christmas?
A: Jungle bells.
54. Q: What is Santa’s dog named?
A: Santa Paws
55. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?
A: He had nobody to go with.
56. Q: Who delivers Christmas presents to sharks?
A: Santa Jaws.
57. Q: What do you get when you cross Santa Claus with a detective?
A: Santa Clues.
58. Q: Why couldn’t the butterfly go to the Christmas party?
A: It was a moth ball.
59. Q: What will you be at Christmas?
A: Yule be happy.
60. Q: What is Santa’s favorite Olympic event?
A: North Pole-vault.
61. Q: What is the #1 Christmas present?
A: A broken drum – you can’t beat it.
62. Q: What rains at the North Pole?
A. Reindeer.
63. Q. Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?
A. RUDE-olph.
64. Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburned elf.
65. Q: Why do reindeer tell such good stories?
A: Because they all have tails.
66. Q: How do you make a slow reindeer fast?
A: You don’t feed it.
67. Q: Boy: Mommy, can I have a dog for Christmas?
A: Mommy: No you’ll have turkey like everyone else.
68. Q: What’s the best thing to put into a Christmas pie?
A: Your teeth.
69. Q: Why is Santa so jolly?
A: Because he knows where all the toys are.
70. Boy 1: We had Grandma for Christmas dinner.
Boy 2: Really? We had turkey.
71. Q: What was the librarians favorite Christmas song?
A: Silent Night.
72. Q: Where do you find reindeer?
A: Depends where you left them.
73. Q: Noah: I thought we had two turkeys when we left?
A: Noah’s Wife: Well, it is Christmas.
74. What did the cow say on Christmas morning?
A. Mooooey Christmas
75. Q. What never eats at Christmas dinner?
A. The turkey – it’s stuffed.
76. Q: What do you give a train conductor for Christmas?
A: Platform shoes.
77. Q: What is the wettest animal at the North Pole?
A: The rain-deer.
78. Q: What did the cow say to the reindeer?
A: Moo.
79. Q. Why couldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?
A. Because a Christmas tree doesn’t have legs.
80. What is the most romantic part of your body during Christmas?
A. Mistle-toe.
81. Q: What did the reindeer sing to Santa on his birthday?
A: Freeze a jolly good fellow.
82. Q: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
A: Thanks, I’ll never part with it.
83. Q: Did you hear about Dracula’s Christmas party?
A: It was a scream.
84. Q: Why is a burning Christmas candle like being thirsty?
A: Because a little water ends both of them.
85. Q: When should you feed reindeer milk to a baby?
A: When it’s a baby reindeer.
86. Q: Which reindeer have the shortest legs?
A: The smallest ones.
87. Q: If a reindeer lost his tail, where would it go for a new one?
A: A retail shop.
88. What did the cat say to the reindeer?
A: Meow.
89. Q: What did the dog say to the reindeer?
A: Woof, woof.
90. Q: What do you call it when Cris Kringle claps his hands?
A: Santapplause.
91. Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.
92. Q: What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?
A: A pineapple.
93. Q: In what year does New Year’s Day come before Christmas?
A: Every year.
94. Q: How does a snowman lose weight?
A: He waits for the weather to get warmer.
95: Q: Why does Santa work at the North Pole?
A: Because the penguins kicked him out of the South Pole.
96. Q: Why did the turkey join the band?
A: Because he had the drum sticks.
97. Q: What do you call a reindeer who wears earmuffs?
A: Anything you want. He can’t hear you.
98. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
99. One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.” His wife asked, “How do you know?.” He answered, “Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
100. Q: What’s a good time for Santa to come down the chimney?
A: Anytime.
101. Q: What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story?
A: The Finch Who Stole Christmas.
102. John: Did you know Santa had only eight reindeer last Christmas?
Sam: Really?
Will: Comet stayed home to clean the sink.
103. Q: What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?
A: Chill out.
104. Q: What’s white and goes up?
A: A confused snowflake.
105. Q: What do you call an old snowman?
A: Water.
106. Q: What goes: now you see me, now you don’t, now you see me, now you don’t?
A: A snowman on a zebra crossing.
107. Q: What goes ho-ho whoosh, ho-ho whoosh?
A: Santa caught in a revolving door.
108. Q: What do you have in December that’s not in any other month?
A: The letter D.
109. Q: What’s impossible to overtake at Christmas?
A: The three wide men.
110. Q: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
A: Can you smell carrot?
111. Q: Where do snowmen go to dance?
A: A snow ball.
112 Q: How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
A: Deep and crisp and even.
113. Q: What does Santa say at the start of a race?
A: Ready, set, Ho, Ho, Ho.
114. Q: What did the reindeer say to the football player?
A: Your Blitzen days are over.
115. Q: What does Santa use to measure?
A: Santameters.
116. Q: What do you get when you cross ice and Christmas?
A: A cold Christmas.
117. Q: What do you get when is Christmas in a Bakery?
A: A miss spy.
118. Q: What did the T-Rex say when it was Christmas Eve?
A: Merry T-Rexmas.
119. Q: What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A: A Holly Davidson.
120. Q: What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses.
121. Q: What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A: A Christmas Quacker.
122. Q: Why don’t dogs make good dancers?
A: Because they have two left feet.
123. Q: What’s a child’s favorite king at Christmas?
A: A stoc-king.
124. Q: What’s an ig?
A: An Eskimo’s house without a loo.
125. Q: Why don’t reindeer like penguins?
A: Because they can’t take the wrapper off.
126. Q: How does a cow say Merry Christmas?
A: Moowy Christmas.
127. Q: How do you know Santa Claus is good at karate?
A: He has a black belt.
128. Q: What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus when she looked up in the sky?
A: Looks like rain, dear.
129. Q: What kinds of bug hates Christmas?
A: A humbug.
130. Q: What did the reindeer say to the elf?
A: Nothing silly, reindeer can’t talk.
131. Q: What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A: Did you get tired of hanging around.
132. Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.
133. Q: When does a reindeer have a trunk?
A: When he goes on vacation.
134. Q: Why was Santa angry at Christmas?
A: Because of the Grinch who Stole Christmas.
135. Q: Why does Santa have elves in his workshop?
A: Because the Seven Dwarfs were busy.
136. Q: What’s red and shakes like a bowl full of jelly?
A: Strawberry Jell-O, silly.
137. Q: What does Frosty the Snowman hang on his Christmas tree?
A: Icicles.
138. Q: Why did Santa cross the road?
A: To deliver presents.
139. Q: What’s invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A: Santa’s burps.
140. Q: Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly.
141. Q: What’s a big as Santa but weighs nothing?
A: Santa’s shadow.
142. Q: Why does Santa use reindeer to pull his sleigh?
A: Because moose can’t fly.
143. Q: Who’s black and white and says “ho, ho, ho”
A: A penguin in disguise.
144. Q: What do elves do after school?
A: Their gnome work.
145. Q: What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?
A: One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh and a long one.
146. Q: What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A: A puddle.
147. Q: How was the snow globe feeling?
A: A little shaken.
148. Q: What do you call a Christmas duck?
A: A Christmas quacker.
149. Q: How do you scare a snowman?
A: You get a hairdryer.
150. Q: What is an elf’s favorite sport?
A: North-pole vaulting.
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151. Q: What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot?
A: A chill pill.
152. Q: What should you give your parents at Christmas?
A: A list of what you want.
153. Q: What did the gingerbread man put under his blankets?
A: A cookie sheet.
154. Q: How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
A: He refers to his calen-deer.
155. Q: Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?
A: Because he went down in History.
156. Q: What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
A: A snowball.
157. Q: What did one snowman say another snowman?
A: You’re cool.
158. Q: How do chickens dance at a holiday party?
A: Chick to chick.
159. Q: Why did the elf go to the doctor?
A: Because he had low elf-esteem.
160. Q: Why did the elf go to bed in the fireplace?
A: Because he wanted to sleep like a log.
161. Q: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
A: Have an ice day.
162. Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Ice Krispies.
163. How do snowmen travel around?
A: By icicle.
164. Q: What do reindeer hang on their Christmas tree?
A: Horn-aments.
165. Q: What do you call a kangaroo wearing a Santa hat?
A: A Christmas jumper.
166. Q: What kind of Christmas songs do fish like?
Christmas corals.
167. Q: What is Santa’s favorite hard candy?
A: Jolly Ranchers.
168. Q: How can you tell when Santa is in the house?
A: You can really feel his presents.
169. Q: What’s a snowman’s favorite leafy veggie?
A: Iceberg lettuce.
170. The Christmas tree had a hard time sewing. It kept dropping its needles.
Santa got arrested. His charges were stocking, but the cops had no probable claus.
171. Q: What happens when the snowman tries to tan?
A: He turns into carrot soup.
172. Q: Why did the donkeys have a Christmas party?
A: To show their muletide spirit.
173. Q: Why does Santa go down chimneys?
A: I don’t know, he does whatever suits him.
174. Q: Which reindeer is the cleanest of the bunch?
A: Comet.
175. Q: Why didn’t Santa make the football team?
A: He kept getting sacked.
176. Q: Why did Santa always get straight A’s in school?
A: He was always present.
177. Q: How many elves make presents?
A: It depends on how many kids are good each year.
178. Q: What do kids say when they catch a peek of Santa?
A: Woa-woa-woa.
179. Q: Why was Mr. Snowman mad at Mrs. Snowman?
A: She kept on pushing his buttons.
180. Elves belong in the North Pole, even their ears are pointed north.
181. Q: What ship did Santa come to America on?
A: The Santa Maria.
182. I tried to borrow a few dollars from an elf. Turns out, he was a little short.
182. Q: What do you call a snowy area with no population?
A: Snowman’s land.
183. Q: What is a snowbirds favorite holiday drink?
A: Eggnog.
184. Q: What’s a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
185. Q: Why did Frosty have a carrot in his nose?
A: Because he forgot where the refrigerator was.
186. Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women?
A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
187. Q: What do snowmen wear on their heads?
A: Ice caps.
188. Q: What did Frosty call his cow?
A: Eskimoo.
189. Q: What do you call a Snowman on rollerblades?
A: A snowmobile.
190. Q: What did the snowman order at McDonalds ?
A: Icerbergers with chilly sauce.
191. Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?
A: You wake up wet.
192. Q: What does Frosty’s wife put on her face at night?
A: Cold cream.
193. Two snowmen were standing in a field, and one said to the other
‘Can you smell carrot?’ The second replied, ‘No, but I can taste coal.’
194. Q: What do Snowmen call their offspring?
A: Chill-dren.
195. Q: What two letters of the alphabet do snowmen prefer?
A: I.C.
196. Q: What happened when the icicle landed on the snowman’s head?
A: It knocked him out cold.
197. Q: How do snowmen greet each other?
A: Ice to meet you.
198. Q: How do snowmen read their e-mails?
A: With an icy-stare.
299. Q: What is a Snowman’s favorite Drink?
A: Ice Tea.
200. Q: Who doesn’t like to sit in front of the fire?
A: A Snowman.
201. Q: What food do you get when you cross Frosty with a polar bear?
A: A “brrr” – “grrr”.
202. Q: What did Frosty’s girlfriend give him when she was mad at him?
A: The cold shoulder.
203. Q: Who are Frosty’s parents?
A: Mom and Pop-Sicle.
204. Q: Who is Frosty’s favorite Aunt?
A: Aunt Artica.
205. Q: What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
A: Frosty the Dough-man.
206. Q: What does Frosty call ice?
A: Skid stuff.
207. Q: What kind of cake does Frosty like?
A: The kind with lots of frosting.
208. Q: What kind of cake does Frosty like?
A: One with icing.
209. Q: What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
A: Lost.
210. Q: What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
A: This one will sleigh you.
211. Q: Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
Because they would look silly in plastic macs.
212. Sam: I can lift a reindeer with one hand.
James: I bet you can’t.
Sam: Well you find me a reindeer with one hand and I’ll lift it.
213. Q: Why do reindeer scratch themselves?
A: Because they’re the only ones who know where they itch.
214. Q: What did the grape say to the peanut butter?
A: ‘Tis the season to be jelly.
215. Q: Where do you keep a Christmas tree?
A: Between a Christmas two and a Christmas four.
216. Q: How much difference is there between the North Pole and the South Pole?
A: All the difference in the world.
217. Q: What do Eskimos use to hold their homes together?
A: Ig-glue.
