90 Funny Happy Birthday Dad Quotes and Messages

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Finding the right present for your dad is really the hardest thing in the world. So for his next birthday, why not try out some of these funny happy birthday quotes and messages. You can print them on a t-shirt, engrave them on a mug, or simply write them down in a birthday card. Oh, there will definitely be smiles, perhaps even laughter out loud. In some cases, be prepared for the eventuality of a hug.

What if the answer is actually simple? Something that is cheap, easy and works every time. Gift him a smile. This is what dads secretly want most anyway. After a hard day of work, dealing with stress, taking care of bills, they just want to relax in their own little way. Is there any wonder dad jokes are universal?

So for his next birthday, why not try out some of these funny happy birthday quotes and messages, and prepare to be amazed. Oh, there will definitely be smiles, perhaps even laughter out loud. In some cases, be prepared for the eventuality of a hug. 

Let us know which ones you liked best and how it went!

1. Around the world, millions of people are celebrating their birthday today, but I chose to be here for your party. I hope you’re feeling special! Happy awesome birthday, dad!

2. Don’t think of it as being 52, but rather and 18 years old with 34 years of experience! Happy birthday, youngster!

3. After a certain age, it’s only natural to start forgetting things. What I want you to always remember is how much you mean to me…and that you still owe me 200$. Love you, dad!

4. You might not like growing old, but on the plus side, you’ll soon be eligible for the senior citizen discount. Happy more birthdays!

5. Congratulations on your third 18th birthday, dad. Hope you have as much fun as your first time!

6. We tried to find a big enough cake to fit all the candles, but it would have required a crane to get it on the table. Instead, here’s a slice of chocolate cake with just one candle and alongside endless well wishes! Happy many more birthdays!

7. It’s your special day, so bring out all those dad jokes you’ve been collecting over the year, and I promise to laugh and each and one of them.

8. Hey dad, I’ve noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time lately concerning yourself with those white strands of hair. I wouldn’t worry too much, in a few years, they will all be gone. Happy birthday!

9. I used to imagine my father was a superhero when I was a growing up. Looking back now, I’m convinced that’s true. Happy birthday, Superdad!

superdad

10. Today marks the 56th birthday of one of the most amazing, caring, loving people in the world…and also yours, dad. Wishing you many wonderful and relaxing days!

11. Dad, you deserve far more than a simple birthday card, so I hope some of the guests brought actual presents. Happy birthday wishes!

12. Some people become wiser with age. Some become wealthier with age. Everyone, however, becomes older with age. So, best of luck with your other two. Happy birthday, dad!

13. I was going to write you a hilarious birthday message to make you laugh, but then I realized you’re already overjoyed with having a son like me. See, you smiled. Happy birthday!

14. Dad, you said the best present would be for us to spend some quality time together, so I made a list of everything that needs fixing around the house and brought a flashlight.

15. They say a bottle of well-aged scotch makes for an amazing present, so I bought you a cheap one and in about a decade from now it should perfect. (Hope you’re still around)

16. You were like my personal Google, growing up. You always had an answer for all of my questions. But you’ll never know how much I love you. Happy birthday, dad!

17. Here’s to an incredible birthday party filled with joy and memorable moments, and that perhaps you might even recall some of them the next day.

18. You must have wished to have the most amazing daughter ever, because here I am! Happy birthday!

19. To my dearest father, may your golf swing be ever precise, your steaks always perfectly cooked, and your armchair eternally comfortable.  I wish you many more amazing birthdays! 

20. I don’t know if you’ve heard the news, but scientists have discovered that people with more birthdays actually live longer. Isn’t that great? Many happy birthdays, dad!

21. They say: “Forget about the past, because you cannot change it, don’t worry about the future, because you cannot predict it, don’t stress about the present, because I didn’t get you one…” Still, happy birthday, dad!

22. Yes dad, I bought you a flamethrower. What do you mean what for? You’re gonna need it to light all those candles. (I have the extinguisher on hand, so don’t worry). Happy Birthday!

23. From this point on, every birthday should be taken with a grain of salt…specifically on the rim of a marguerite glass! Have a great party!

24. Happy birthday to that special someone who I feel is perfect in every way. Well, except for your cooking, and your gardening, and you could do a bit better at folding clothes, and some other things. So, besides those, you’re the greatest!

25. Yes, you’re one year older, but you’ve also just finished another 365-day free trip around the Sun. Congratulations!

sun and earth

26. Your beard may be gray, your wrinkles may be deep, but hey, at least there is cake! So have fun and enjoy your birthday!

27. Dad, we are all part of nature, and birthdays are its way of telling us to eat more cake. Have a great party and make sure to have a second slice.

28. I offer my humble Birthday wishes to a man who has lived through so many important moments in history…the discovery of fire, the dinosaur extinction… To many more birthdays!

29. Today, some people will tell you that you are still a young man. Those people are liars! But what counts is how you feel. So have fun and enjoy yourself however you want. Happy birthday!

30. Congratulations on being born a really long time ago. Hope you’ll be part of our lives for even longer. Happy more birtdays!

Even when you don’t have time to meet up with dad, you can still write him a card or send him a short message. He will definitely appreciate the gesture.

 [Short messages]

31. Sorry I didn’t buy you a present, dad, but you’re still getting something. Older.

32. Try to be happy, dad, today is the last time you will ever be this young.

33. They say wisdom comes with age, so you must be one of the wisest people on earth by now.

34. Happy birthday to our wonderful father! May today bring you happiness, serenity, and a lawn which mows itself!

35. It was only 8766 hours ago when I last told you this – Happy birthday, dad!

36. Happy birthday to one of my favorite dads in the world!

37. It’s no big deal, you’re just turning a year older. Don’t worry, soon enough you won’t remember your age anyway. Happy birthday, old man!

38. Happy birthday to one of the few people I would attempt to save in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

39. Don’t fret too much, age is merely a number… though yours is getting kinda large…

40. You should be happy you’re getting older, more candles means larger cake…

41. I guess you’re getting pretty good at this “staying alive” thing. Happy more birthdays!

42. As you grow older, you find that losing things becomes more common. First it’s your keys, then it’s your memory… (but we’ll always be here for you)

43. NASA just announces that the light emitted from all the candles on your cake can now be seen from outer space. So that’s an achievement.

44. Wow, it’s already been a year since the last time I forgot to get you a present. Maybe next year/time…

45. Happy birthday to one of the most tolerable people on my Facebook feed!

46. Hey, don’t worry, you’re still gonna to do dumb things as you’re getting older, only slower.

47. With time, some things become finer, like wine.  Unless it turns to vinegar…

wine

48. I think the Chinese for “Happy birthday” is “Yung No Mo”.

49. What can I say on this special day? Brilliant, attractive, witty…but enough about me. Happy birthday old timer!

50. You look great, not a day over 20! From a distance, with both eyes closed, in a moving car…

51. Want to know the secret to everlasting youth? Make up. You make up an age and stick with it!

52. Soon enough, you won’t be old, but vintage (always in style).

53. Just a bit of medical advice – eat copious amounts of birthday cake. Every study shows that you live longer the more birthday cakes you have. So tuck in!

54. They say you’re only as old as you feel… better not go around feeling old people then.

55. Don’t think of it as growing older, rather gaining in value. Have an extravagant birthday, dad!

56. 50 is not that old, it’s just 5 perfect 10s, and you’ll always be perfect to me, dad.

57. I’m not here just to eat cake. I’m here to eat cake and say happy birthday!

58. I wouldn’t dream making a joke about your age. I’m too scared you might hit me with your walking stick!

59. Don’t be upset about going bald, think of it as becoming easier to spot in a crowd.

60. Happy birthday to the world’s most okay dad!

Cute messages from sons & daughters

61. It’s you special day today, so get ready for some birthday hugs and kisses!

62. Thank you for being my very own superhero, dad. You’ve kept away the demons from under my bed and made me feel safe and loved. Happy birthday!

63. For 364 days a year, you make us feel special. Now, it’s time for you to put your feet up, relax, and prepare to be pampered. Happy birthday, daddy!

64. Dad, I’m not sure how old you are, but you must have had a dinosaur as a pet when you were young. (Your little T-rex wishes you a happy birthday!)

dinosaur

65. I saw the perfect gift for you, but didn’t have enough money to buy it. Perhaps consider increasing my allowance, so we’ll both be happier next year. In the meantime, have a wonderful birthday!

66. You’ve always treated me like a princess, so today I award you the title of “World’s greatest dad”! Happy birthday!

67. Dad, you mean the world to me. My only wish for you is that…your wallet remains open for your adoring children.

68. Happy birthday, dad! I want to be just like you when I grow up…preferably with a little bit more hair. Your loving son.

69. I’d be a millionaire if only I had a dollar for everything I appreciate about you. Happy birthday, precious dad!

70. Dad, you’ve reached your “oldie but goodie” period of your life, it’s time to take it easy. Happy Birthday from one of your greatest hits!

71. I wouldn’t say you’re old dad, rather you’ve become a classic.

72. Happy birthday, dad! If you want to sneak out with your old buddies, I can cover for you. Just keep in mind I’ll be asking Santa for a PlayStation this Christmas.

73. There are some really good dads out there. Some are even great. But this “happy birthday” wish goes to the daddiest of them all!

74. May all your fish be large, your beers remain cold, and your sports teams have a winning season!

75. I will forever cherish all the sage advice you have given me throughout the years. For example, how you can pick you friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose. (See, the dad jokes are rubbing off on me). Happy birthday!

76. Here’s to the puniest dad in the world. You’ve made us laugh and groan like no other! Happy birthday, father!

77. And the Award for the Greatest dad in the World goes to…drumroll please…YOU! Congratulations, dad, and happy birthday!

78. It’s not growing old, dad, it’s levelling up. Wishing you the best and many more levels! Happy birthday!

79. You never tell us about your childhood days, dad. Was it scary living among all those dinosaurs? Happy safe birthday!

80. To the best taxi driver, the most effective spider hunter, the cheapest handyman, and the most generous bank I know. Happy Birthday Dad!

81. You always say the best gift you could ever ask for is seeing our faces. That’s why I’ve bought a dress for myself and am presenting you with only well wishes. Happy birthday, dad. It’s great to see you.

82. I always thought your birthday was in fact a national holiday, when I was little. It should have been, you are truly a saint. Happy birthday from your little angel!

83. Hey, dad, you know how I always forget your birthday? Well, this time I was watching Jurassic park and for some reason it just reminded of you. Happy Birthday, you old dinosaur!

84. I’m so glad I inhered your genes, dad. You look great for 48. What? You’re actually 58? Oh, ahm, happy many more birthdays, then!

85. Dad, you deserve the most amazing, lavish, extravagant party ever. We didn’t plan anything like that, but it’s what you should have gotten. Maybe next year.

party

86. I’m here, in person, to deliver the best birthday present ever- me! Happy birthday, dad!

87. Hey, dad, sorry for all those white hairs you now have because of us. Here’s a “Best Dad” mug to make up for that.

88. For your special day, I’ve sent you a truly special present. It’s a ghost hug! Perhaps you can’t feel it, but it is definitely there! Sorry I can’t be with you, but Happy Birthday!

89. I’ve always felt so lucky to have the most awesome dad in the world. Now, I consider myself doubly lucky because my child has the best grandfather. Dad, we love you and wish you a happy birthday!

90. When you get to a certain age, people expect you to be calm, dignified and sober… Disappoint them. Happy Birthday!

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