Fred Reed

Fred Reed

Fred Reed has been published in Playboy, Soldier of Fortune, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Harper’s, National
Review, Signal, Air&Space, and has worked on the staff for several of these and other publications.

Get Fred’s Book!
The Great Possum-Squashing and Beer Storm of 1962:
Reflections on
the Remains of My Country
by Fred Reed

Gelding, by Lily: The sorrowful rise of neuter man
Women became enraged that men regarded them as sex objects. Men were puzzled. They didn’t know what else to regard as sex objects.

Feminist Tarantulas
Would you rather cuddle one, or step on it?

Sex and Radioactive Cholera
In the morning I get up, throw a few coffee cups against the wall in reflexive rage before killing the neighbors dog, and then assault a lady on the subway. The male riders cheer me on: patriarchal bonding. Then we stand around and compare genitals until I get off. Hey, it’s guy stuff.

Against Marriage
Remember that after the divorce, she is going to hate you. How much do you think she’s going to want you around, after she has re-daddied your children?

A Plague of Grief Therapy
Grief Therapy? Hey, this is pretty scary. The country may be riddled with grief therapists. Like grubs in a rotting tree.

yet more Fred:

A Writer’s New Year

What is the place of internet columns in the scheme of things? Do they amount to anything beyond self-indulgence?

Country Living vs Urban Sprawl: The Suicide of Marlboro Man

A billion-dollar company has no difficulty in buying out a character-filled, self-reliant farmer who makes less than forty thousand dollars a year. Soon the anonymity of numbers sets in and, anyway, there’s no community any longer.

Fiesta In Ajijic

A partisan view of Mexico. Ajijic is like every good Mexican town–narrow streets stoned not paved, with a central plaza loaded with plants and benches and a monster gazebo for bands.

Patriot Act: Spying on Americans for Security

Building a system to spy on Americans, the government assures us that it won’t use it to spy on Americans, Legalizing unlimited surveillance of everybody is not trivial.


Dignity and Respect in America

The trouble with terrorism is that it produces too many psychotherapists. This nonsense is now the normal American response to misfortune.

Secrets of Ex-pat Happiness

Expatriots don’t hate America. They just wonder where it went. Anyway, ex-pats these days form a sort of global community.

Environmental Politics

In American environmentalism, it’s the capitalists who act like communists. Zealots want enemies, allies, and simple answers.

Create Virus: A Pox to Blight With

You don’t need a culture of a virus to release it into the world. In principle, all you need is the DNA sequence and some lab equipment.

Route 301

A report from the far side of Mars

Yes, Mommy

Yes, Mommy. A well-regulated state.

Mourning as a Performing Art

Mourning as a performing art. Migraine television.

Random Thoughts on Expatriation

Random thoughts on expatriation. Pulling the plug.


Remedial condescension. Are we sure this is what we want?

A Subliminal War

A subliminal war. The average possum could do it better.

Going Fast

Going faster and faster. The acceleration of decline.

The DC Bob

Doing the DC Bob. You’da thought moscow was too big to move.

Bagged Terror

Florida, Hillary, and airports. Maybe them terrorists just got their towels wrapped too tight.

Legal System

Our legal circus. Clowns, dancing bears, and attorneys.

Exploding Ourselves

Blowing up at Dulles. Grenading We Will Go, Grenading We Will Go, Hi Ho….

Space Aliens At Roswell

Space aliens at Roswell. Hant did it.


Must we scorn cannibalism? Toward overcoming euro-centric western prejudices.

Warring On Ourselves

Warring against ourselves. En route to banning yo-yos.

Nuking New York

Warring against terrorism. What if this is more serious than it looks?


Women in Combat

Placing women in physically demanding jobs in the military, as for example combat, is stupid and unworkable. Here are the Army’s test results.

Harvard, Even

Hahvud gets sillier. Queer studies comes to Romper Room.

Airline Security

Airline security. We’re not serious. Take a train.

The Pluke Bucket

Posing in the pluke bucket. Ba-a-ad Mo-sheen. Worse maintenance.


Sensitivity and Sergeant Rock. Whither the military?

Preaching Evolution

Evolutionary theology. Neither heresy nor theresy. OK, I’m sorry…

Feminists’ Attack on Boys: Little Green Soldiers

But the constant assault on little boys is, I think, an extension of The Chip, the snappish, distempered animosity toward all things male.

Sedition, Even

Democracy. Sort of. Kinda. Maybe, anyway.