The Fathering Advisor

Mother Refuses to Acknowledge Father on Birth Certificate

My former girlfriend used me to get pregnant, refused to have an abortion, left me, had the baby, deleted my name from the birth certificate, accepted thousands of dollars worth of my gifts and cash to help with her expenses, and then, a few days ago, sued me for more child support and complete custody. This person is a maniac, but the laws in California give her the right to do this. I might add that she is an illegal immigrant from Colombia as well. What’s going on? Is it just my imagination, or is our legal system flawed in this respect? I’d like comments from all and sundry…

FatherMag: The legal system must come to recognize that a person has a right to know who their father is. Did your child’s mother just delete your name from a copy of the birth certificate, or do something that will affect future copies from official sources?

What happened is this: After I spent four
days at her side in the hospital, my ex-girlfriend filed the papers to
obtain a birth certificate leaving the space for the father as “unknown.”
She did this when I was not present, about an hour after she and I had
discussed (and agreed upon) the matter of the child’s name. Naturally, I
was devastated by this, but since the mother has complete control of such
matters here in California, there was nothing I could do, and she would
not change her mind. Later, when it became apparent that she could sue me
more easily for child support by naming me as the father, she filed an
amendment to the birth certificate, which I gladly signed since I did not
want the little girl growing up with her father completely unknown to
her. Now the mother is suing me for the usual, but has eliminated my name
again from the legal documents she has filed. Apparently she wants it
both ways.

A thought occurs to me as I write this. How many other fathers out there
fear the stigma of misogyny if they raise their voices in complaint? I
certainly do; and I wonder if this isn’t one reason why fathers don’t have
more rights than they do. Being branded a misogynist carries the same
heavy weight as being called racist. This in itself may keep fathers (or
other men who have felt the brunt of a legal system which in some ways
favors women) from standing up for their rights. And what politician,
fearful of the charge of sexism or misogyny, is going to look into solving
the problems we face?

Any thoughts on this?

The Fathering Advisor

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