Kids jokes never fail to bring laughter and smile to everyone. Jokes do not just help create relationships with the kids, they’re also a great way to kill time when you are trying to keep the children organized or occupied. Waiting in line for a seat in a restaurant or for a dentist appointment, wouldn’t be too boring if you have a few hilarious jokes to share.
Check out our kid-friendly jokes collection we prepared just for you. Everyone will have a good time with these jokes. It doesn’t matter if some of the jokes are cheesy, jokes never get old. So go ahead and have a great time with your little ones!
Funny Jokes for Kids
1. Q: How do all the oceans say hello to each other?
A: They wave.
2. Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: I’ll meet you at the corner.
3. Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear.
4. Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho cheese.
5. Q: Where do cows go for entertainment?
A: To the moo-vies.
6. Q: How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?
A: Your head hits the ceiling.
7. Q: Why are elephants so wrinkled?
A: Because they take too long to iron.
8. Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging?
A: Take away her credit card.
9. Q: Why did the elephant paint himself different colors?
So he could hide in the crayon box.
10. Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
A: By the footprints in the butter.
11. Q: What is the difference between elephants and grapes?
A: Grapes are purple.
12. Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
A: Here come the elephants.
13. Q: What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming?
A: Here come the grapes. (She was colorblind)
14. Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground beef.
15. Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?
A: Lean meat.
16. Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A: A pork chop.
17. Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them.
18. Q: What animal needs to wear a wig?
A: A bald eagle.
19. Q: What do you call a fly without wings?
A: A walk.
20. Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
A: Because they use honey combs.
21. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An investigator.
22. Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she will let it go.
23. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
24. Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck.
25. Q: Why did the man run around his bed?
A: Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep.
26. Q: Why did the math book look so sad?
A: Because it had so many problems.
27. Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.
28. Q: If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring?
29. Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer.
30. Q: What did the zero say to the eight?
A: Nice belt.
31. Q: Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
32. Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A: Right where you left him.
33. Q: Where do fish keep their money?
A: In the river bank.
34. Q: Why did the gum cross the road?
A: It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
35. Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick.
36. Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: It was framed.
37. Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide?
38. Q: What can you catch but not throw?
A: A cold.
39. Q: What has hands but can’t clap?
A: A clock.
40. Q: What do you call a dog that can tell time?
A: A watch dog.
41. Q: What did one hat say to the other?
A: Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
42. Q: What side of a turkey has the most feathers?
A: The outside.
43. Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
A: The snow.
44. Q: Why did the teacher put on sunglasses?
A: Because her students were so bright.
45. Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
46. Q: What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
47. Q: What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A: A power plant.
48. Q: Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
A. Dill with it.
49. Q: 12. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
A: That hit the spot.
50. Q: How does a vampire start a letter?
A: Tomb it may concern.
51. Q: 15. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
A: R2 detour.
52. Q: How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
A: You rocket.
53. Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7, 8, 9.
54. Q: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
55. Q: When does a joke become a “dad” joke?
A: When the punchline is a parent.
56. Q: How do you make a lemon drop?
A: Just let it fall.
57. Q: What did the limestone say to the geologist?
A: Don’t take me for granite.
58. Q: What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?
A: A wise quacker.
59. Q: Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
A: Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
60. Q: What kind of water cannot freeze?
A: Hot water.
61. Q: What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A: A palm tree.
62. Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt crummy.
63. Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?
A: Because her mom and dad were in a jam.
64. Q: What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
A: Where is pop corn?
65. Q: What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
A: Hailing taxis.
66. Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A: About a buck an ear.
67. Q: Where would you find an elephant?
A: The same place as you lost her.
68. Q: How do you talk to a giant?
A: Use big words.
69. Q: What animal is always at a baseball game?
A: A bat.
70. Q: What do you call a ghost’s true love?
A: His ghoul-friend.
71. Q: What building in New York has the most stories?
A: The public library.
72. Q: What did one volcano say to the other?
A: I lava you.
73. Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
74. Q: How does the moon cut his hair?
A: Eclipse it.
75. Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you?
A: Act like a nut.
76. Q: What do you call two birds in love?
77. Q: How does a scientist freshen her breath?
A: With experi-mints.
78. Q: How are false teeth like stars?
A: They come out at night.
79. Q: How can you tell a vampire has a cold?
A: She starts coffin.
80. Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm.
81. Q: What is a computer’s favorite snack?
A: Computer chips.
82. Q: Why don’t elephants chew gum?
A: They do, just not in public.
83. Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon.
84. Q: What did the banana say to the dog?
A: Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.
85. Q: What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
A: Time to get a new clock.
86. Q: How does a cucumber become a pickle?
A: It goes through a jarring experience.
87. Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A: A stick.
88. Q: What do you think of that new diner on the moon?
A: Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.
89. Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.
90. Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?
A: With ten-tickles.
91. Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it.
92. Q: What did the nose say to the finger?
A: Quit picking on me.
93. Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A: A tuba toothpaste.
94. Q: Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
A: Because she wanted to go to high school.
95. Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A blood orange.
96. Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The elf-abet.
97. Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabrador.
98. Q: Where do pencils go on vacation?
99. Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?
A: She was a little hoarse.
100. Q: Why is there a fence around a cemetery?
A: People are dying to get in.
101. Q: What do porcupines say when they kiss?
102. When is a baseball player like a spider?
A: When he catches a fly.
103. What are the two things you can’t have for breakfast?
A: Lunch and dinner.
104. Q: What letters are not in the alphabet?
A: The ones in the mail.
105. What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An IM-pasta.
106. Q: Why couldn’t cavemen send cards?
A: The stamps kept falling off the rocks.
107. Why do we put candles on the top of a birthday cake?
A: Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom.
108. Q: How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?
A: When it’s full.
109. Q: What do you give a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.
110. Q: What animal needs oil?
A: A mouse because it squeaks.
111. Q: Why did the melon jump into the lake?
A: Because he wanted to be a watermelon.
112. Q: What has three letters and starts with gas?
A: A car.
113. What race is never run?
A: A swimming race.
114. Q: Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
A: Because she’s always running away from the ball.
115. Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?
A: I’ve got you covered.
116. Q: What is a cat’s favourite colour?
117. Q: What kind of cat likes water?
A: An octo-puss.
118. Q: What has two legs but can’t walk?
A: A pair of pants.
119. Q: What’s an astronaut’s favorite candy bar?
A: A Mars bar
120. Who did Frankenstein’s monster bring to prom?
A: His goulfriend.
121. Q: What do you call a dog on the beach in summer?
A: A hot dog.
122. Q: What did the nut say when it got a cold?
123. Q: What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline?
A: A milkshake.
124. Q: Why did the little boy throw his clock out the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly.
125. Q: What kinds of money to mermaids use?
A: Sand dollars.
126. Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: Because it wasn’t peeling well.
127. Q: What kind of snack do you have during a scary movie?
A: Ice cream (I scream).
128. Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: Stick with me and we’ll go places together.
129. Q:Were any famous men or women born on your birthday?
A: No, only babies.
130. Q: Why do tigers have stripes?
A: So they don’t get spotted.
131. Q: What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?
A: Time to duck.
132. Q: What kind of nut has no shell?
A: A doughnut.
133. Q: What bone will a dog never eat?
A: A Trombone.
134. Q: How did the egg get up the mountain?
A: It Scrambled up.
135. Q: What did the big flower say to the little flower?
A: Hi, bud.
136. Q: Why didn’t the orange win the race?
A: It ran out of juice.
137. Q: What dinosaur had the best vocabulary?
A: The thesaurus.
138. Q: What did one DNA strand say to the other DNA strand?
A: Do these genes make my butt look big?
139. Q: Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
A: They have two left feet.
140. Q: What did the wolf say when it stubbed its toe?
141. Kid: What are you doing under there?
Mom: Under where?
Kid: Ha ha. You said underwear.
142. Q: What did one toilet say to the other?
A: You look flushed.
143. Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash.
144. Q: Why did they quit giving tests at the zoo?
A: Because it was full of cheetahs.
145. Q: Why is a bad joke like a pencil?
A: Because it has no point.
146. Q: What room can no one enter?
A: A mushroom.
147. Q: What kind of key can never unlock a door?
A: A monkey.
148. Q: What did the cheerleader say to the ghost?
A: Show your spirit.
149. Q: What did one eye say to the other?
A: Between you and me something smells.
150. Q: How can you tell that a tree is a dogwood tree?
A: By its bark.
151. Q: Why did Mozart sell his chickens?
A: They kept saying, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”
152. Q: Why is dark spelled with a K and not a C?
A: Because you can’t see in the dark.
153. Q: Want me to tell you a joke about pizza?
A: Sorry, it is too cheesy.
154. Q: Why was the broom late
A: It overswept.
155. Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one.
156. Q: Why don’t dinosaurs eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny.
157. Q: What did the girl ocean say to the boy ocean when he asked her out on a date?
158. Q: Why do shoemakers go to heaven?
A: Because they have good soles.
159. Q: What did one plate say to another plate?
A: Dinner is on me.
160. Q: Why did they bury the battery?
A: Because it was dead.
161. Q: Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet?
A: Because he was always lost at C.
162. Q: What are the strongest days of the week?
A: Saturday and Sunday. Every other day is a weekday.
163. Q: What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
A: You can’t tuna fish.
164. Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”.
165. Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A: A cath-has-trophy.
166. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
167. Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
168. Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.
169. Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
A: Kitty Perry
170. Q: What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio?
A: Cool Music.
171. Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
A: Lettuce get together.
172. Q: What is the most hardworking part of the eye?
A: The pupil.
173. Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
174. What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.
175. Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom?
A: At the BP station.
176. Q: What do you call a baby monkey?
A: A Chimp off the old block.
177. Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver.
178. Q: How do you shoot a killer bee?
A: With a bee bee gun.
179. Q: How do you drown a Hipster?
A: In the mainstream.
180. Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light.
181. Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?
A: A stamp.
182. Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?
A: Because it had a virus.
183. Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat whatever bugs them.
184. Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A: A waist of time.
185. Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor?
A: Because it was not peeling well.
186. Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because the queen has reigned there for years.
187. Q: Why is your foot more special than your other body parts?
A: Because they have their own soul.
188. Q: What is the best day to go to the beach?
A: Sunday, of course.
189. Q: What bow can’t be tied?
A: A rainbow.
190. Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.
191. Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
A: Spring time.
192. Q: Where did the computer go to dance?
A: To a disc-o.
193. Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs?
A: A Bed.
194. Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend?
A: Because his friend said dinner is on me.
195. Q: Why is a 2016 calendar more popular than a 2015 calendar?
A: It has more dates.
196. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
A: Never mind, it’s over your head.
197. Q: What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs?
A: A penny.
198. Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
199. Q: What three candies can you find in every school?
A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.
200. Q: Why are pirates called pirates?
A: Cause they arrrrr.
201. Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
202. Q: What washes up on very small beaches?
203. What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move?
A: The road.
204. Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
A: The scientists were brainstorming.
205. Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn’t find a date.
206. Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
A: Hi Cliff.
207. Q: What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent?
A: Show me the honey.
208. Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?
A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
209. Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A: I think I’m coming down with something.
210. Q: What do you say when you lose a wii game?
A: I want a wii-match.
211. Q: What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers?
A: The Telephone.
212. Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot.
213. Q: What did the man say to the wall?
A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster ya.
214. Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
215. Q: Why do girls scouts sell cookies?
A: They wanna make a sweet first impression.
216. Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A: It let out a little wine.
217. Q: What kind of berry has a coloring book?
A: A crayon-berry.
218. Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the courtroom?
A: Odor in the court.
219. Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
220. Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
A: They don’t have the guts.
221. What did the penny say to the other penny?
A: We make perfect cents.
222. Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.
223. Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?
A: So he could have sweet dreams.
224. Q: Why did the robber take a bath?
A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
225. Q: What happens if life gives you melons?
A: You’re dyslexic.
226. Q: What music are balloons scared of?
A: Pop music.
227. Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
228. Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills.