225 Funny Jokes For Kids



Kids jokes never fail to bring laughter and smile to everyone. Jokes do not just help create relationships with the kids, they’re also a great way to kill time when you are trying to keep the children organized or occupied. Waiting in line for a seat in a restaurant or for a dentist appointment, wouldn’t be too boring if you have a few hilarious jokes to share.

Check out our kid-friendly jokes collection we prepared just for you. Everyone will have a good time with these jokes. It doesn’t matter if some of the jokes are cheesy, jokes never get old. So go ahead and have a great time with your little ones!

Funny Jokes for Kids

1. Q: How do all the oceans say hello to each other?
A: They wave.


2. Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: I’ll meet you at the corner.


3. Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A: A gummy bear.

4. Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho cheese.

5. Q: Where do cows go for entertainment?
A: To the moo-vies.


6. Q: How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?
A: Your head hits the ceiling.

7. Q: Why are elephants so wrinkled?
A: Because they take too long to iron.

8. Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging?
A: Take away her credit card.

9. Q:  Why did the elephant paint himself different colors?

So he could hide in the crayon box.

10. Q:  How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
A: By the footprints in the butter.

11. Q: What is the difference between elephants and grapes?
A: Grapes are purple.

12. Q:  What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
A: Here come the elephants.

13. Q:  What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming?
A: Here come the grapes. (She was colorblind)

14. Q:  What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground beef.

15. Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?
A: Lean meat.

16. Q:  What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A: A pork chop.

17. Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them.


18. Q: What animal needs to wear a wig?
A: A bald eagle.

19. Q: What do you call a fly without wings?
A: A walk.


20. Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
A: Because they use honey combs.

21. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An investigator.

22. Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she will let it go.

23. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

24. Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck.

25. Q: Why did the man run around his bed?
A: Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep.

26. Q: Why did the math book look so sad?
A: Because it had so many problems.

27. Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.

28. Q: If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring?
A: Pilgrims.

29. Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer.

30. Q: What did the zero say to the eight?
A: Nice belt.

31. Q: Why do sharks swim in saltwater?  
A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

32. Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A: Right where you left him.

33. Q: Where do fish keep their money?
A: In the river bank.

34. Q: Why did the gum cross the road?
A: It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

35. Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick.

36. Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: It was framed.

37. Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide?

38. Q: What can you catch but not throw?
A: A cold.

39. Q: What has hands but can’t clap?
A: A clock.

40. Q: What do you call a dog that can tell time?
A: A watch dog.

41. Q: What did one hat say to the other?
A: Stay here, I’m going on ahead.

42. Q: What side of a turkey has the most feathers?
A: The outside.

43. Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
A: The snow.

44. Q: Why did the teacher put on sunglasses?
A: Because her students were so bright.

45. Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
A: Shocked.

46. Q: What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
A: Sneakers.

47. Q: What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A: A power plant.


48. Q: Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
A. Dill with it.

49. Q: 12. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
A: That hit the spot.


50. Q: How does a vampire start a letter?
A: Tomb it may concern.

51. Q: 15. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
A: R2 detour.

52. Q: How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?

A: You rocket.

53. Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7, 8, 9.

54. Q: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling.

55. Q: When does a joke become a “dad” joke?
A: When the punchline is a parent.



56. Q: How do you make a lemon drop?
A: Just let it fall.


57. Q: What did the limestone say to the geologist?
A: Don’t take me for granite.

58. Q: What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?
A: A wise quacker.

59. Q: Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
A: Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.

60. Q: What kind of water cannot freeze?
A: Hot water.

61. Q: What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A: A palm tree.


62. Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt crummy.

63. Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?
A: Because her mom and dad were in a jam.

64. Q: What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
A: Where is pop corn?

65. Q: What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
A: Hailing taxis.

66. Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A: About a buck an ear.


67. Q: Where would you find an elephant?
A: The same place as you lost her.

68. Q: How do you talk to a giant?
A: Use big words.

69. Q: What animal is always at a baseball game?
A: A bat.

70. Q: What do you call a ghost’s true love?
A: His ghoul-friend.


71. Q: What building in New York has the most stories?
A: The public library.

72. Q: What did one volcano say to the other?
A: I lava you.

73. Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
A: Twister.

74. Q: How does the moon cut his hair?
A: Eclipse it.


75. Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you?
A: Act like a nut.

76. Q: What do you call two birds in love?
A: Tweethearts.

77. Q: How does a scientist freshen her breath?
A: With experi-mints.

78. Q: How are false teeth like stars?
A: They come out at night.

79. Q: How can you tell a vampire has a cold?
A: She starts coffin.

Read also: 200 Christmas Jokes for Kids.

80. Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

 A: Finding half a worm.

81. Q: What is a computer’s favorite snack?
A: Computer chips.


82. Q: Why don’t elephants chew gum?
A: They do, just not in public.

83. Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon.

84. Q: What did the banana say to the dog?
A: Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.


85. Q: What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
A: Time to get a new clock.

86. Q: How does a cucumber become a pickle?
A: It goes through a jarring experience.

87. Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A: A stick.

88. Q: What do you think of that new diner on the moon?
A: Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.

89. Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.


90. Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?
A: With ten-tickles.

91. Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it.


92. Q: What did the nose say to the finger?
A: Quit picking on me.

93. Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A: A tuba toothpaste.

94. Q: Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

A: Because she wanted to go to high school.

95. Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A blood orange.

96. Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The elf-abet.

97. Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabrador.

98. Q: Where do pencils go on vacation?
A: Pencil-vania.

99. Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?
A: She was a little hoarse.


100. Q: Why is there a fence around a cemetery?
A: People are dying to get in.

101. Q: What do porcupines say when they kiss?
A: Ouch.


102. When is a baseball player like a spider?
A: When he catches a fly.

103. What are the two things you can’t have for breakfast?
A: Lunch and dinner.

104. Q: What letters are not in the alphabet?
A: The ones in the mail.


105. What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An IM-pasta.

106. Q: Why couldn’t cavemen send cards?
A: The stamps kept falling off the rocks.


107. Why do we put candles on the top of a birthday cake?
A: Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom.

108. Q: How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?
A: When it’s full.


109. Q: What do you give a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.

110. Q: What animal needs oil?
A: A mouse because it squeaks.

111. Q: Why did the melon jump into the lake?
A: Because he wanted to be a watermelon.

112. Q: What has three letters and starts with gas?
A: A car.


113. What race is never run?
A: A swimming race.

114. Q: Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
A: Because she’s always running away from the ball.

115. Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?
A: I’ve got you covered.

116. Q: What is a cat’s favourite colour?
A: Purrrrr-ple.

117. Q: What kind of cat likes water?
A: An octo-puss.

118. Q: What has two legs but can’t walk?
A: A pair of pants.

119. Q: What’s an astronaut’s favorite candy bar?
A: A Mars bar


120. Who did Frankenstein’s monster bring to prom?
A: His goulfriend.

121. Q: What do you call a dog on the beach in summer?
A: A hot dog.

122. Q: What did the nut say when it got a cold?
A: Cashew.

123. Q: What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline?
A: A milkshake.

124. Q: Why did the little boy throw his clock out the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly.

125. Q: What kinds of money to mermaids use?
A: Sand dollars.

126. Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: Because it wasn’t peeling well.

127. Q: What kind of snack do you have during a scary movie?
A: Ice cream (I scream).

128. Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: Stick with me and we’ll go places together.


129. Q:Were any famous men or women born on your birthday?
A: No, only babies.

130. Q: Why do tigers have stripes?
A: So they don’t get spotted.

131. Q: What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?
A: Time to duck.


132. Q: What kind of nut has no shell?
A: A doughnut.

133. Q: What bone will a dog never eat?
A: A Trombone.

134. Q: How did the egg get up the mountain?
A: It Scrambled up.


135. Q: What did the big flower say to the little flower?
A: Hi, bud.


136. Q: Why didn’t the orange win the race?
A: It ran out of juice.

137. Q: What dinosaur had the best vocabulary?  

A: The thesaurus.

138. Q: What did one DNA strand say to the other DNA strand?
A: Do these genes make my butt look big?

139. Q: Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
A: They have two left feet.

140. Q: What did the wolf say when it stubbed its toe?
A: Owwwww-ch


141. Kid: What are you doing under there?
Mom: Under where?
Kid: Ha ha. You said underwear.


142. Q: What did one toilet say to the other?
A: You look flushed.


143. Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash.


144. Q: Why did they quit giving tests at the zoo?
A: Because it was full of cheetahs.

145. Q: Why is a bad joke like a pencil?
A: Because it has no point.

146. Q: What room can no one enter?
A: A mushroom.

147. Q: What kind of key can never unlock a door?
A: A monkey.


148. Q: What did the cheerleader say to the ghost?
A: Show your spirit.

149. Q: What did one eye say to the other?
A: Between you and me something smells.

150. Q: How can you tell that a tree is a dogwood tree?
A: By its bark.


151. Q: Why did Mozart sell his chickens?
A: They kept saying, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

152. Q: Why is dark spelled with a K and not a C?
A: Because you can’t see in the dark.


153. Q: Want me to tell you a joke about pizza?
A: Sorry, it is too cheesy.

154. Q: Why was the broom late
A: It overswept.

155. Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one.


156. Q: Why don’t dinosaurs eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny.

157. Q: What did the girl ocean say to the boy ocean when he asked her out on a date?
A: Shore.

158. Q: Why do shoemakers go to heaven?
A: Because they have good soles.

159. Q: What did one plate say to another plate?
A: Dinner is on me.

160. Q: Why did they bury the battery?
A: Because it was dead.


161. Q: Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet?
A: Because he was always lost at C.

162. Q: What are the strongest days of the week?
A: Saturday and Sunday.  Every other day is a weekday.


163. Q: What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?

A: You can’t tuna fish.


164. Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?

A: The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”.


165. Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?

A: A cath-has-trophy.


166. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?

A: Spoiled milk.


167. Q: What do lawyers wear to court?

A: Lawsuits.


168. Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?

A: A towel.


169. Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

A: Kitty Perry


170. Q: What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio?

A: Cool Music.


171. Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?

A: Lettuce get together.


172. Q: What is the most hardworking part of the eye?

A: The pupil.


173. Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?

A: Guardians of the Galaxy.

174. What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?

A: Swimming trunks.


175. Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom?

A: At the BP station.


176. Q: What do you call a baby monkey?

A: A Chimp off the old block.


177. Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A: A taxi driver.


178. Q: How do you shoot a killer bee?

A: With a bee bee gun.


179. Q: How do you drown a Hipster?

A: In the mainstream.


180. Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?

A: It barked with de-light.


181. Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?

A: A stamp.


182. Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?

A: Because it had a virus.


183. Q: Why are frogs so happy?

A: They eat whatever bugs them.


184. Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A: A waist of time.


185. Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor?

A: Because it was not peeling well.


186. Q: Why is England the wettest country?

A: Because the queen has reigned there for years.


187. Q: Why is your foot more special than your other body parts?

A: Because they have their own soul.


188. Q: What is the best day to go to the beach?

A: Sunday, of course.


189. Q: What bow can’t be tied?

A: A rainbow.


190. Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.


191. Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline?

A: Spring time.


192. Q: Where did the computer go to dance?

A: To a disc-o.


193. Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs?

A: A Bed.

194. Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend?

A: Because his friend said dinner is on me.


195. Q: Why is a 2016 calendar more popular than a 2015 calendar?

A: It has more dates.


196. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?

A: Never mind, it’s over your head.


197. Q: What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs?

A: A penny.


198. Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?

A: They take the psycho path.


199. Q: What three candies can you find in every school?

A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.


200. Q: Why are pirates called pirates?

A: Cause they arrrrr.


201. Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?

A: Cell phones.


202. Q: What washes up on very small beaches?

A: Microwaves.


203. What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move?

A: The road.


204. Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?

A: The scientists were brainstorming.


205. Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune?

A: Because he couldn’t find a date.


206. Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?

A: Hi Cliff.


207. Q: What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent?

A: Show me the honey.

208. Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?

A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.


209. Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

A: I think I’m coming down with something.


210. Q: What do you say when you lose a wii game?

A: I want a wii-match.


211. Q: What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers?

A: The Telephone.


212. Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?

A: Because then it would be a foot.

213. Q: What did the man say to the wall?

A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster ya.


214. Q: Why did the tomato turn red?

A: It saw the salad dressing.


215. Q: Why do girls scouts sell cookies?

A: They wanna make a sweet first impression.


216. Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?

A: It let out a little wine.


217. Q: What kind of berry has a coloring book?

A: A crayon-berry.


218. Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the courtroom?

A: Odor in the court.


219. Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?

A: Dam.


220. Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

A: They don’t have the guts.

221. What did the penny say to the other penny?

A: We make perfect cents.


222. Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road?

A: To get to the second hand shop.


223. Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?

A: So he could have sweet dreams.


224. Q: Why did the robber take a bath?

A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.


225. Q: What happens if life gives you melons?

A: You’re dyslexic.


226. Q: What music are balloons scared of?

A: Pop music.


227. Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?

A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.


228. Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

A: He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills.


Father of two wonderful kids, love parenthood and feel blessed to have an amazing family.
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