225 Funny Jokes For Kids

funny jokes for kids

Kids jokes never fail to bring laughter and smile to everyone. Jokes do not just help create relationships with the kids, they’re also a great way to kill time when you are trying to keep the children organized or occupied. Waiting in line for a seat in a restaurant or for a dentist appointment, wouldn’t be too boring if you have a few hilarious jokes to share.

Check out our kid-friendly jokes collection we prepared just for you. Everyone will have a good time with these jokes. It doesn’t matter if some of the jokes are cheesy, jokes never get old. So go ahead and have a great time with your little ones!

Funny Jokes for Kids

1. Q: How do all the oceans say hello to each other?
A: They wave.

 

2. Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: I’ll meet you at the corner.

 

3. Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A: A gummy bear.



4. Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho cheese.



5. Q: Where do cows go for entertainment?
A: To the moo-vies.

 

6. Q: How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?
A: Your head hits the ceiling.



7. Q: Why are elephants so wrinkled?
A: Because they take too long to iron.



8. Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging?
A: Take away her credit card.



9. Q:  Why did the elephant paint himself different colors?

So he could hide in the crayon box.



10. Q:  How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
A: By the footprints in the butter.



11. Q: What is the difference between elephants and grapes?
A: Grapes are purple.



12. Q:  What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
A: Here come the elephants.



13. Q:  What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming?
A: Here come the grapes. (She was colorblind)



14. Q:  What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground beef.



15. Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?
A: Lean meat.



16. Q:  What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A: A pork chop.



17. Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them.

 

18. Q: What animal needs to wear a wig?
A: A bald eagle.



19. Q: What do you call a fly without wings?
A: A walk.

 

20. Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
A: Because they use honey combs.



21. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An investigator.



22. Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she will let it go.



23. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.



24. Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck.



25. Q: Why did the man run around his bed?
A: Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep.



26. Q: Why did the math book look so sad?
A: Because it had so many problems.



27. Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.



28. Q: If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring?
A: Pilgrims.



29. Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer.



30. Q: What did the zero say to the eight?
A: Nice belt.



31. Q: Why do sharks swim in saltwater?  
A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze.



32. Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A: Right where you left him.



33. Q: Where do fish keep their money?
A: In the river bank.



34. Q: Why did the gum cross the road?
A: It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.



35. Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick.



36. Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: It was framed.



37. Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide?



38. Q: What can you catch but not throw?
A: A cold.



39. Q: What has hands but can’t clap?
A: A clock.



40. Q: What do you call a dog that can tell time?
A: A watch dog.



41. Q: What did one hat say to the other?
A: Stay here, I’m going on ahead.



42. Q: What side of a turkey has the most feathers?
A: The outside.



43. Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
A: The snow.



44. Q: Why did the teacher put on sunglasses?
A: Because her students were so bright.



45. Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
A: Shocked.



46. Q: What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
A: Sneakers.



47. Q: What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A: A power plant.

 

48. Q: Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
A. Dill with it.



49. Q: 12. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
A: That hit the spot.

 

50. Q: How does a vampire start a letter?
A: Tomb it may concern.



51. Q: 15. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
A: R2 detour.



52. Q: How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?

A: You rocket.



53. Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7, 8, 9.



54. Q: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling.



55. Q: When does a joke become a “dad” joke?
A: When the punchline is a parent.

 

 

56. Q: How do you make a lemon drop?
A: Just let it fall.

 

57. Q: What did the limestone say to the geologist?
A: Don’t take me for granite.



58. Q: What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?
A: A wise quacker.



59. Q: Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
A: Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.



60. Q: What kind of water cannot freeze?
A: Hot water.



61. Q: What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A: A palm tree.

 

62. Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt crummy.



63. Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?
A: Because her mom and dad were in a jam.



64. Q: What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
A: Where is pop corn?



65. Q: What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
A: Hailing taxis.



66. Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A: About a buck an ear.

 

67. Q: Where would you find an elephant?
A: The same place as you lost her.



68. Q: How do you talk to a giant?
A: Use big words.



69. Q: What animal is always at a baseball game?
A: A bat.



70. Q: What do you call a ghost’s true love?
A: His ghoul-friend.

 

71. Q: What building in New York has the most stories?
A: The public library.



72. Q: What did one volcano say to the other?
A: I lava you.



73. Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
A: Twister.



74. Q: How does the moon cut his hair?
A: Eclipse it.

 

75. Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you?
A: Act like a nut.



76. Q: What do you call two birds in love?
A: Tweethearts.



77. Q: How does a scientist freshen her breath?
A: With experi-mints.



78. Q: How are false teeth like stars?
A: They come out at night.



79. Q: How can you tell a vampire has a cold?
A: She starts coffin.



80. Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

 A: Finding half a worm.



81. Q: What is a computer’s favorite snack?
A: Computer chips.

 

82. Q: Why don’t elephants chew gum?
A: They do, just not in public.



83. Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon.



84. Q: What did the banana say to the dog?
A: Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.

 

85. Q: What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
A: Time to get a new clock.



86. Q: How does a cucumber become a pickle?
A: It goes through a jarring experience.



87. Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A: A stick.



88. Q: What do you think of that new diner on the moon?
A: Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.



89. Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

 

90. Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?
A: With ten-tickles.



91. Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it.

 

92. Q: What did the nose say to the finger?
A: Quit picking on me.



93. Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A: A tuba toothpaste.



94. Q: Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

A: Because she wanted to go to high school.



95. Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A blood orange.



96. Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The elf-abet.



97. Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabrador.



98. Q: Where do pencils go on vacation?
A: Pencil-vania.



99. Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?
A: She was a little hoarse.

 

100. Q: Why is there a fence around a cemetery?
A: People are dying to get in.



101. Q: What do porcupines say when they kiss?
A: Ouch.

 

102. When is a baseball player like a spider?
A: When he catches a fly.



103. What are the two things you can’t have for breakfast?
A: Lunch and dinner.



104. Q: What letters are not in the alphabet?
A: The ones in the mail.

 

105. What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An IM-pasta.



106. Q: Why couldn’t cavemen send cards?
A: The stamps kept falling off the rocks.

 

107. Why do we put candles on the top of a birthday cake?
A: Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom.



108. Q: How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?
A: When it’s full.

 

109. Q: What do you give a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.



110. Q: What animal needs oil?
A: A mouse because it squeaks.



111. Q: Why did the melon jump into the lake?
A: Because he wanted to be a watermelon.



112. Q: What has three letters and starts with gas?
A: A car.

 

113. What race is never run?
A: A swimming race.



114. Q: Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
A: Because she’s always running away from the ball.



115. Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?
A: I’ve got you covered.



116. Q: What is a cat’s favourite colour?
A: Purrrrr-ple.



117. Q: What kind of cat likes water?
A: An octo-puss.



118. Q: What has two legs but can’t walk?
A: A pair of pants.



119. Q: What’s an astronaut’s favorite candy bar?
A: A Mars bar

 

120. Who did Frankenstein’s monster bring to prom?
A: His goulfriend.



121. Q: What do you call a dog on the beach in summer?
A: A hot dog.



122. Q: What did the nut say when it got a cold?
A: Cashew.



123. Q: What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline?
A: A milkshake.



124. Q: Why did the little boy throw his clock out the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly.



125. Q: What kinds of money to mermaids use?
A: Sand dollars.



126. Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: Because it wasn’t peeling well.



127. Q: What kind of snack do you have during a scary movie?
A: Ice cream (I scream).



128. Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: Stick with me and we’ll go places together.

 

129. Q:Were any famous men or women born on your birthday?
A: No, only babies.



130. Q: Why do tigers have stripes?
A: So they don’t get spotted.



131. Q: What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?
A: Time to duck.

 

132. Q: What kind of nut has no shell?
A: A doughnut.



133. Q: What bone will a dog never eat?
A: A Trombone.



134. Q: How did the egg get up the mountain?
A: It Scrambled up.

 

135. Q: What did the big flower say to the little flower?
A: Hi, bud.

 

136. Q: Why didn’t the orange win the race?
A: It ran out of juice.



137. Q: What dinosaur had the best vocabulary?  

A: The thesaurus.



138. Q: What did one DNA strand say to the other DNA strand?
A: Do these genes make my butt look big?



139. Q: Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
A: They have two left feet.



140. Q: What did the wolf say when it stubbed its toe?
A: Owwwww-ch

 

141. Kid: What are you doing under there?
Mom: Under where?
Kid: Ha ha. You said underwear.

 

142. Q: What did one toilet say to the other?
A: You look flushed.

 

143. Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash.

 

144. Q: Why did they quit giving tests at the zoo?
A: Because it was full of cheetahs.



145. Q: Why is a bad joke like a pencil?
A: Because it has no point.



146. Q: What room can no one enter?
A: A mushroom.



147. Q: What kind of key can never unlock a door?
A: A monkey.

 

148. Q: What did the cheerleader say to the ghost?
A: Show your spirit.



149. Q: What did one eye say to the other?
A: Between you and me something smells.



150. Q: How can you tell that a tree is a dogwood tree?
A: By its bark.

 

151. Q: Why did Mozart sell his chickens?
A: They kept saying, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”



152. Q: Why is dark spelled with a K and not a C?
A: Because you can’t see in the dark.

 

153. Q: Want me to tell you a joke about pizza?
A: Sorry, it is too cheesy.



154. Q: Why was the broom late
A: It overswept.



155. Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one.

 

156. Q: Why don’t dinosaurs eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny.



157. Q: What did the girl ocean say to the boy ocean when he asked her out on a date?
A: Shore.



158. Q: Why do shoemakers go to heaven?
A: Because they have good soles.



159. Q: What did one plate say to another plate?
A: Dinner is on me.



160. Q: Why did they bury the battery?
A: Because it was dead.

 

161. Q: Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet?
A: Because he was always lost at C.



162. Q: What are the strongest days of the week?
A: Saturday and Sunday.  Every other day is a weekday.

 

163. Q: What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?

A: You can’t tuna fish.

 

164. Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?

A: The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”.

 

165. Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?

A: A cath-has-trophy.

 

166. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?

A: Spoiled milk.

 

167. Q: What do lawyers wear to court?

A: Lawsuits.

 

168. Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?

A: A towel.

 

169. Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

A: Kitty Perry

 

170. Q: What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio?

A: Cool Music.

 

171. Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?

A: Lettuce get together.

 

172. Q: What is the most hardworking part of the eye?

A: The pupil.

 

173. Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?

A: Guardians of the Galaxy.



174. What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?

A: Swimming trunks.

 

175. Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom?

A: At the BP station.

 

176. Q: What do you call a baby monkey?

A: A Chimp off the old block.

 

177. Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A: A taxi driver.

 

178. Q: How do you shoot a killer bee?

A: With a bee bee gun.

 

179. Q: How do you drown a Hipster?

A: In the mainstream.

 

180. Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?

A: It barked with de-light.

 

181. Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?

A: A stamp.

 

182. Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?

A: Because it had a virus.

 

183. Q: Why are frogs so happy?

A: They eat whatever bugs them.

 

184. Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A: A waist of time.

 

185. Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor?

A: Because it was not peeling well.

 

186. Q: Why is England the wettest country?

A: Because the queen has reigned there for years.

 

187. Q: Why is your foot more special than your other body parts?

A: Because they have their own soul.

 

188. Q: What is the best day to go to the beach?

A: Sunday, of course.

 

189. Q: What bow can’t be tied?

A: A rainbow.

 

190. Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.

 

191. Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline?

A: Spring time.

 

192. Q: Where did the computer go to dance?

A: To a disc-o.

 

193. Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs?

A: A Bed.



194. Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend?

A: Because his friend said dinner is on me.

 

195. Q: Why is a 2016 calendar more popular than a 2015 calendar?

A: It has more dates.

 

196. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?

A: Never mind, it’s over your head.

 

197. Q: What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs?

A: A penny.

 

198. Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?

A: They take the psycho path.

 

199. Q: What three candies can you find in every school?

A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.

 

200. Q: Why are pirates called pirates?

A: Cause they arrrrr.

 

201. Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?

A: Cell phones.

 

202. Q: What washes up on very small beaches?

A: Microwaves.

 

203. What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move?

A: The road.

 

204. Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?

A: The scientists were brainstorming.

 

205. Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune?

A: Because he couldn’t find a date.

 

206. Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?

A: Hi Cliff.

 

207. Q: What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent?

A: Show me the honey.



208. Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?

A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.

 

209. Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

A: I think I’m coming down with something.

 

210. Q: What do you say when you lose a wii game?

A: I want a wii-match.

 

211. Q: What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers?

A: The Telephone.

 

212. Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?

A: Because then it would be a foot.



213. Q: What did the man say to the wall?

A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster ya.

 

214. Q: Why did the tomato turn red?

A: It saw the salad dressing.

 

215. Q: Why do girls scouts sell cookies?

A: They wanna make a sweet first impression.

 

216. Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?

A: It let out a little wine.

 

217. Q: What kind of berry has a coloring book?

A: A crayon-berry.

 

218. Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the courtroom?

A: Odor in the court.

 

219. Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?

A: Dam.

 

220. Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

A: They don’t have the guts.



221. What did the penny say to the other penny?

A: We make perfect cents.

 

222. Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road?

A: To get to the second hand shop.

 

223. Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?

A: So he could have sweet dreams.

 

224. Q: Why did the robber take a bath?

A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.

 

225. Q: What happens if life gives you melons?

A: You’re dyslexic.

 

226. Q: What music are balloons scared of?

A: Pop music.

 

227. Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?

A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.

 

228. Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

A: He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills.

 

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