Since the dawn of time, we humans have been a list making species. How many saber-tooth tigers are chasing me, how many people are in the tribe, how many teeth do I have left, etc. As human civilization has progressed most of these lists have fallen into antiquity (except the teeth one; that's still valid in some parts of the United States) but staying true to our nature, we have developed newer and more complex lists. Of these lists, the grocery list is arguably the most important to the general populace.
Grocery lists were first invented in the year 2146 B.C. by Antigonus-Lysander Eustathios, an ancient Greek inventor, who also invented such amazing things as the letter 'æ' and sleeves (although sleeved togas did not catch on until the 2000s B.C.) Antigonus (as he was better known) was inspired to create the grocery list after several failed trips to the market to fetch olives for his wife, Tryphosa.
Antigonus found that if he inscribed the needed items to his coin purse he was reminded to buy them at each pub he stopped at along the way. In an interesting tangent, his neighbor and drinking companion, Seleucus, later invented the grocery bag and wheel-barrel as a means to bring the listed items and companions home.
Today I, Kyle Baker, son of Larry and brother of Thomas, failed to learn from history. I set out to the local grocer to obtain shaving soap, orange juice, and iced cream. I returned instead with 3 apples, a 6 pack of St. Arnold's, and some tea. My mistake? You guessed it, no shopping list.
To remedy my natural deficit of memory, I turned to the example set by history. Antigonus wrote items onto his coin purse, because every time he stopped for a pint along the way he would see them and be reminded of the task at hand. Being a new father, pub hopping was out of the question for me.
I however had one thing working in my favor that Antigonus lacked: a baby. Following in the footsteps of one of the greatest minds of the ancient world, I have taken to writing my shopping list on my infant son. Crib-notes, if you will.
Now every time Julius needs his diaper changed, I remember to buy bread. Each time I give him his bottle I see that we are low on soap. Every time my wife asks why Julius has "pork chops, green beans, and flour" written on him, I know that we are out of baby wipes. There are however, some things which I remember without writing down. Every morning when hungry cries wake me up at 4:37, I remember we need more condoms.
I figure I can get another good 13 months out of this before Julius is too old. Then it's back to the drawing board. After that happens I guess I'll have to try writing my list on paper. Is it uncouth to duct-tape notes to toddlers?
Grocery lists were first invented in the year 2146 B.C. by Antigonus-Lysander Eustathios, an ancient Greek inventor, who also invented such amazing things as the letter 'æ' and sleeves (although sleeved togas did not catch on until the 2000s B.C.) Antigonus (as he was better known) was inspired to create the grocery list after several failed trips to the market to fetch olives for his wife, Tryphosa.
Antigonus found that if he inscribed the needed items to his coin purse he was reminded to buy them at each pub he stopped at along the way. In an interesting tangent, his neighbor and drinking companion, Seleucus, later invented the grocery bag and wheel-barrel as a means to bring the listed items and companions home.
Today I, Kyle Baker, son of Larry and brother of Thomas, failed to learn from history. I set out to the local grocer to obtain shaving soap, orange juice, and iced cream. I returned instead with 3 apples, a 6 pack of St. Arnold's, and some tea. My mistake? You guessed it, no shopping list.
To remedy my natural deficit of memory, I turned to the example set by history. Antigonus wrote items onto his coin purse, because every time he stopped for a pint along the way he would see them and be reminded of the task at hand. Being a new father, pub hopping was out of the question for me.
I however had one thing working in my favor that Antigonus lacked: a baby. Following in the footsteps of one of the greatest minds of the ancient world, I have taken to writing my shopping list on my infant son. Crib-notes, if you will.
Now every time Julius needs his diaper changed, I remember to buy bread. Each time I give him his bottle I see that we are low on soap. Every time my wife asks why Julius has "pork chops, green beans, and flour" written on him, I know that we are out of baby wipes. There are however, some things which I remember without writing down. Every morning when hungry cries wake me up at 4:37, I remember we need more condoms.
I figure I can get another good 13 months out of this before Julius is too old. Then it's back to the drawing board. After that happens I guess I'll have to try writing my list on paper. Is it uncouth to duct-tape notes to toddlers?
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