Fathering Magazine for fathers, dads, family


NOTICE: This website is FOR SALE. Buy Now!

Home
What's New
Beginners' Tour
True Stories
True Soap
Health

Topics
New Fathers
The Joy of Fathering
Importance of Fathers
Fathers & Sons
Fathers & Daughters
Single Fathers
Second Wives -
   Second Families
Gender & Fathers
Custody & Divorce
Father Custody
Child Support
Exposé
Cyber Bullying
Sex Bullies
Family Vacation
Father's Day
Mother's Day

Sections
Book Reviews
Fathering Poems
Interviews
Fathering Fiction
Cooking Recipes
Science Fair Project
US Constitution

News
Female Offenders
Juvenile Offenders

Child Health
New Baby
Premature
Circumcision
Intersex
Signs of Puberty
Car Hazards
Child Obesity
Teen Smoking
Teen Drinking
ADD/ADHD
PCOS
Autism

Men's Health
Hair Loss
Muse ED Review
Vasectomy
Micturition
Restoration

Columns
Stephen Baskerville
Michael Childers
Kirk Daulerio
John Gill
Paul Goetz
Sam Harper
Jim Loose
Mark Phillips
Fred Reed
Carey Roberts
Glenn Sacks
Clyde Verner
Archie Wortham

Exposé
Child Support Policy
Child Support Math
Commercial Justice
Abuse Hysteria
Missing Child Money
Gender Equality?

Legal Disclaimer







Young Boys, Don't Let Girls Make You Become Men

by Archie Wortham    --show me more like this




"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us," Helen Keller said.

I'm not really sure how many of our kids today even know who Helen Keller was. I'll let you tell them about a blind and deaf girl who achieved international distinction. Want a good movie to see as a family this summer? Watch "The Miracle Worker," with Patty Duke and Anne Bancroft. Learn what discipline can do, and what indulgence encourages. Indeed, it's through closing doors in front of our children that we make then look at others. Sometimes other people do that, and we as parent have to fight the good fight, in order to realize what doors exist that we too might have ignored.

As our children grow, new challenges will face them. Challenges similar to the ones we faced as kids. The labels may be different but the challenges are the same. Like being a lady or a gentleman in today's society. I was amazed in the middle of one of my lectures, I asked what the current ‘pick-up' line was, and was informed there is none. In many cases girls are extremely frontal with their decision about going out or not, so guys manage to avoid the embarrassment of rehearsals of something like "What's your sign?" or "Do you come here often?"

In an age when women open doors for the men they have emasculated, many would-be men do not realize the trap they may fall into through benign innocence. And dads, if you are not talking to your sons about the misfortunes of everyday situations that might appear harmless, you better take note, and start making sure your sons know a few things we didn't have to be scared of...'assertive women.'

I know. I married one. I managed to realize how important she was, and as the saying goes, I got off the pot. You know what I mean? If I had sat there any longer, she would have found some guy with a better pick-up line, or whose sign what not ‘yield' to everything that spells commitment. I was 32 years old when she finally hooked me. Yet in those 32 years, never once did I make the mistake some of our youths innocently make. Like what?

Young boys, don't ever take yourself for granted. Don't ever think that because you are not getting a dozen phone calls every week you are not popular. Sometime, some of the best catches are the ones who wait until they see something that appeals to them. Wait, as I did. I fell in love on the spot. At the time I met my wife, I was a confirmed bachelor. I'd stopped looking and God in His infinite wisdom opened a door for me I didn't think would ever open.

Young men, never allow yourself to be alone in a room with a girl unless she's your mother, sister, or close relative. I used to say teacher, but with all the things happening in schools today, some teachers, I'm afraid you can't trust. Trust yourself. Forewarned is forearmed. Moreover, dads, if you have never instructed your sons about the importance of staying away from being alone with girls in a room, or having an adult near by, talk to them right after you read this. Once made, accusations are hard to dispel. As Othello realized, reputation is everything. Earn it, and work hard to keep it. If you lose it, things will never be the same.

Young gentlemen, never joke about sex. Sex is a beautiful thing; designed for two people who are committed to each other. To me, this commitment has always meant married. I don't know care what some of you might call me—old-fashioned, ancient, retarded. That's okay. There are some things I still consider sacred. This is one of them. We need to the virtues of a commitment to abstinence before married and a commitment to faithfulness during married. There is too much gray out there, and unless our children see us demonstrating areas of black and white, this gray area will give birth to a lot more than babies from uncommitted parents.

Our older son is now 12. He's still figuring things out. Mom and I are still figuring things out too. However, each time a door closes; sometimes we have to let him know, if he looks hard enough, there's another one. Sometimes the choices might be hard. The choices tend to get that way as he is exposed to more and more. Nevertheless, as I signed a lifetime commitment to my ‘love-at-first-sight' bride [19 years now!], she and I agreed to a lifetime commitment to help our sons find and use the right doors.



Copyright © 2002
FatherMag.com
All rights reserved. FatherMag.com authors retain their right to republish elsewhere.




fathermag.com
The on-line magazine for men with families.