Fathering Magazine for fathers, dads, family


NOTICE: Most recent site content is not available to users of ad blockers.

Home
What's New
Beginners' Tour
True Stories
True Soap
Health

Topics
New Fathers
The Joy of Fathering
Importance of Fathers
Fathers & Sons
Fathers & Daughters
Single Fathers
Second Wives -
   Second Families
Gender & Fathers
Custody & Divorce
Father Custody
Child Support
Exposé
Cyber Bullying
Sex Bullies
Family Vacation
Father's Day
Mother's Day

Sections
Book Reviews
Fathering Poems
Interviews
Fathering Fiction
Cooking Recipes
Science Fair Project
US Constitution

News
Female Offenders
Juvenile Offenders

Child Health
New Baby
Premature
Circumcision
Intersex
Signs of Puberty
Car Hazards
Child Obesity
Teen Smoking
Teen Drinking
ADD/ADHD
PCOS
Autism

Men's Health
Hair Loss
Muse ED Review
Vasectomy
Micturition
Restoration

Columns
Stephen Baskerville
Michael Childers
Kirk Daulerio
John Gill
Paul Goetz
Sam Harper
Jim Loose
Mark Phillips
Fred Reed
Carey Roberts
Glenn Sacks
Clyde Verner
Archie Wortham

Exposé
Child Support Policy
Child Support Math
Commercial Justice
Abuse Hysteria
Missing Child Money
Gender Equality?

Legal Disclaimer








Fathering News
Check these stories:

Texas Fathers Win Again! Social workers and psychologists "incest cases" group gets foiled in court.

Therapist Loses License and One Million Dollars Another misandrist therapist gets caught selling sex fantasies to children. From the False Memory Syndrome Foundation News Letter

Supervised Parent/Child Contact An ideologue exposes her ugly compulsion to deny children's access to their father.

Study Finds Teen Pregnancy and Crime Levels are Higher Among Kids from Fatherless Homes Children reared in fatherless homes are more than twice as likely to become male adolescent delinquents or teen mothers, according to a significant new study by two economists at the University of California, Santa Barbara.

85% of Youths in Prison Grew Up in Fatherless Home Source: Texas Department of Corrections.

I Want to See My Dad! Staff of supervised visitation center demoralized by crowd of angry demonstrators.

America's Toughest Family Court Judge Speaks Out Judge says "The current biased system is run by reality-impaired ideologues."

How to Fight Sex Abuse Allegations and Win False Allegations Of Child Sexual Abuse: What You Should Know.

Child Support System Declared Unconstitutional Minnesota Supreme Court upholds ruling.


Of Statistics, Single Mothers and the Politics of Language Studies show that, overwhelmingly, children being raised in homes with both a mother and a father enjoy a lot of benefits that children from single parent homes do not.

Children in Single-Mom Households at Risk The fact that children raised by single mothers are at increased risk is found over and over again.

The Case for Father Custody Daniel Amneus makes the case for fathers getting custody of their children. "It is fatherhood which makes childhood possible."

New Single Father Suggestions Practical childcare tips for the man who has to go it alone.

Off the Boat When? Is 'child-support' just a euphemism for alimony?


Home > Child Support > Article

Child Support

Paying child support is the equivalent of paying three to four times your share for your kids' needs.

by Kip Schwanke


child support dollars
child support dollars © frenta - Fotolia.com All rights reserved.

Buried deep in the foundations of the theory, definition and defense of child support is the notion that children of divorce are entitled to live in a standard of living "to which they had become accustomed" while their parents were still married. This concept, routinely heralded by proponents of percentage guidelines as fundamental to the "best interest" of the children, is at the center of the misguided thinking that has developed in relation to divorce and the disdain that Americans have for divorced fathers.

First, it is simply absurd to suggest that the income which supported a family in an intact household can do so for two completely separate households following divorce and still maintain the same standard of living, type or quality of purchases and activities. Second, and even more important, is the way in which we insist upon recognizing only one of these two households as being of any consequence. That household, of course, is that of the mothers, who still receive primary custody in nearly 90% of the cases. Only for the mother's home is the relationship between expenses and income evaluated. Only for the mother's home are financial assessments assumed without any form of legal accountability.

These practices define for fathers, and in effect all of society, the lack of importance assigned to fathers as well as the growing disregard for their needs, concerns or hardships. There is no greater evidence of this than the way we relegate fathers' support as "no consolation" and their attempts to remain involved with their children as mere "impositions."

For fathers and their children, however, the message could not be clearer. Fathers pay support to the household in which their children reside; yet their children do not enjoy any legal protection as to how that money gets spent by their caregiver. Although fathers are bound by law to provide money, there is no legal consequence for mothers who fail to actually provide children with the child support money that is being transferred to her. She who chooses instead to spend most of the money on beer and drugs will find the law on her side.

Mothers may complain of shortages for things like clothes, bicycles, haircuts and dance lessons. Yet when child support computations are made, usually there is no such allowance made for those child expenses incurred by fathers in their own households. But what about the portion of a father's income that he provides for his children in his own home? Here too he must maintain some reasonable amount of space, clothing, bedding, furniture, toys, etc., just as he pays for these things in their mother's home.

So pervasive is the belief that a father's expenses are irrelevant, that any money he spends directly on his children is considered by current child support guidelines as unnecessary. While child support is purported to provide the father's portion of his children's needs while in their mother's household, it all but ignores the needs of children when in his. As shared parenting becomes more prevalent, antiquated child support guidelines look ever more misguided.

Fathers who succeed in paying their mandated child support may be closer to paying three times their share of a split family's expenses. The first time a father pays is the part the government takes to pay for mom's residence, which includes a share for shelter, food, and all other needs. The second time he pays is for his portion, in his own home (which did not exist as a separate cost before). The third time he pays is the lacking portion of his own expenses that nobody sends him, unlike the support mom receives from him. Where dad was the sole wage earner in marriage, the situation is even worse. Since his income provided effectively 100% of the physical costs of his children, and mothers in this situation typically do not attempt to earn an income equal to the father's following divorce, the father is essentially paying his portion yet a fourth time.

The financial burden of subsidized divorce is overshadowed by a far greater moral burden. Our society simply hasn't developed any conscience regarding the plight of divorced fathers. Consider the isolation, desolation and despair some divorced fathers endure. Legally required to stand helplessly by, they watch in horror as a succession of strangers (mother's boyfriends) benefit not only from the split family's financial resources, but avail themselves of intimate access to the private lives of the children as well. Tragedy is the predictable and all too frequent result. Meanwhile, concerned fathers themselves are legally denied any access or control which might "inconvenience" the ex-wife.

Under such circumstances, we must pin our hopes on those fathers who act to intervene before things go too far. Yet when fathers refuse to pay or go so far as to make off with their kids, there are invariably authorities who feel affronted. There are cries for more legislation, stiffer consequences and attempts to control fathers even more. When mothers do the same, society comes immediately to their aid, trying to develop programs and funding in defense of whatever their needs might seem to be. If this is what we consider acting in the best interest of the children, society has a long, long way to go.



Copyright © 1999 - 2017
FatherMag.com
All rights reserved.



fathermag.com
The on-line magazine for men with families.











The Secret Alimony Hidden in Child Support Scientific proof exists that many child support awards are too high. By Roger F. Gay.

Fathers' Rights Are Fathers' Duties Why political action is the best thing you can do for yourself, your case -- and above all your children. By Stephen Baskerville.

Domestic Armageddon Who profits from the maternal child-snatching epidemic? Two book reviews by Stephen Baskerville.

Just Let Me Be a Dad A review of Michelle D. Lovato's book of practical advice for divorcing fathers.

Men Are Beasts Whereas false accusations by women are in fact rare, occurring no more often than do other false reports of crimes, such as bank robbery -- Joint Congressional Resolution 182.

Class Dismissed Has America created a new class of citizens who are excluded from constitutional provisions regarding due process and debtors prison?

Father from Afar Fathers from afar must learn how to hear what is not said, feel what is not seen, and say what should be said.

Let No Man Put Asunder Is our traditional faith in justice being eroded by courts that operate as a child kidnapping and extortion racket?

Angels and Divorce Dean Hughson tells how a couple of angels helped save him in those critical hours following his divorce.

Gender Bias in Family Court A paralegal gives her insider's view of women who make use of the child kidnapping and extortion racketeers in our justice system.

In the Best Interest of the Child Today's fathers are more likely to seek custody. Many of them will need to prepare for a child custody evaluation.

Mother Accuses Father of Child Abuse What to do? Win! Advice from The Fathering Advisor with links to resources.

What Fathers Do Jack Kammer's story shows us how fathers affect the lives of teenage boys.

Deserted Her mother said "Your father left you because he doesn't love you." Now she has learned the truth--her loving father was forced out of her life.

Matriarchy Marked by Tribalism and Violence Feminism reigns when men don't claim their children.

Deceptions of a Gender Equal Society All present and past human societies are patriarchal, in spite of the many feminist lies and half-truths invented to obscure this.







--