The Kenneth Starr Probe of Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky

Monday, 21 December 1998
In a string of presidential contests before Bill Clinton came along, the Democrats had established a well earned reputation for letting purist ideology triumph over good sense. The public looked on in amazement as the Democratic Party repeatedly ignored opinion polls and did the "right" thing. These losers were sure they knew what was best for us. So they proudly stuck to their principles, and as a result lost miserably in several attempts to capture the White House.

This time ideology comes in the form of Republicans who enjoy feeling that they are more moral than you or I. What the foolish and sinful electorate wants is not important to these fast-gun deputies. They prove their own superior morality daily by their suffering, and remain intent on championing the greater cause of our nation's morality. Having shot themselves in the foot in the midterm elections, our moral deputies promptly reached for the other gun and blew off their own kneecaps by impeaching Clinton.

The nation is impressed with the Republican's newfound sense of sacrifice. The latest CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll shows that:

In the wake of the House of Representatives' approval of two articles of impeachment, Bill Clinton's approval rating has jumped 10 points to 73 percent... At the same time, the number of Americans with an unfavorable view of the Republican Party has jumped 10 points; less than a third of the country now has a favorable view of the GOP.

Meanwhile, Livingston is out, and so yet another Republican leader bites the dust as it is discovered that he too has sinned. Nowadays it seems our moral deputies don't even last long enough to get sworn in.

Perhaps the party has a little castrati boy somewhere in the wings who would be pure and innocent enough to lead the Republicans in this new moral crusade. Though not a politician, Kenneth Starr comes close, for example. Unfortunately his charisma seems to be just as disappointingly underdeveloped as his private parts are rumored to be.

The foolish and sinful voters with their feet on the ground are close enough to the earth to know how dirty a place we really live in. Real people want a real human leader. Everyone who voted for Bill had seen him blush, and already knew that he really had inhaled that day long ago. He was just too scared to admit it. We knew he'd probably done a few other things he wouldn't want to admit to, either, especially under oath. Who hasn't (Kenneth Starr excepted)?

Even those of us who didn't vote for Bill understand him having made some of the same mistakes we all have, or wish we had. We knew all along he was a liar anyway, because he's a politician. Along with the drive and charisma that makes leaders admirable may be their joy of an occasional indulgence in life's forbidden pleasures. But this bit of dirty nitty-gritty reality is anathema to politicians whose minds have been cleansed by their own purist ideology. Perish the thought. Like the Democratic losers before them, these Republican losers have gotten so carried away with themselves that they have forgotten who casts the ballots.

Friday, 20 November 1998
"You have violated your obligations under the independent counsel statute and have unlawfully intruded on the power of impeachment." Describing "Independent Councillor" Kenneth Starr with these words, Sam Dash today resigned after serving four years as advisor to the hit man who behaves as if he has been hired by Republicans to bring down the Democrat in the White House.

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This is a story that shouldn't have been in the news at all. Many good American presidents have had extramarital affairs (President Kennedy went much further afield than President Clinton has, for example), and the only reason these men didn't lie about their private matters was that people were wise enough not to ask. Republicans, in their zeal to recapture the White House, seem to have lost this traditional wisdom. It is not surprising that they are now experiencing a backlash of anger from the voters.

This magazine's pages on the Monica Lewinsky affair cover the story without any lewd sexual details from the Kenneth Starr report. Some of the story titles listed below are admittedly raunchy, but then this is a raunchy subject.

• Women Who Rape
• other articles by Clyde Verner

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