I Sucked the President
by Clyde Verner
says Monica Lewinsky
While working in the White House, a young woman named Monica Lewinsky sucks on the President's penis. Then she goes around talking about it.
When the story gets back to him, the President blushes and says that of course it isn't true. This initial "coverup" was as socially required as the wearing of pants in public. To have proudly said "yes" would have been the social equivalent of an immodest exposure of his privates.
The truth is, as a popular leader, much of the nation would have helped arrange for him to be sucked daily if that's what he needed to help keep him happy and productive.
All in all, Monica Lewinsky acted like a woman, the President acted like a man, and the dogs lusting after his position as leader acted like assassins.
For many Americans, the sins of Mr. Clinton may be easier to stomach than the holier-than-thou attitude of the evangelist minister's son who was sent to slay him. Kenneth Starr reports every slanderous hearsay rumor as if it were part of the facts of the case. For example, Monica's girlfriend said that Monica said that the President said he might marry Monica some day. Kenneth Starr's malignantly dishonest approach is perhaps most apparent when he asks us to believe everything Monica Lewinsky says: "She has not falsely inculpated the President. Harming him, she has testified, is 'the last thing in the world I want to do.'"
"After reaching an immunity and cooperation agreement with the Office of the
Independent Counsel on July 28, 1998, Ms. Lewinsky turned over a navy blue dress that she said
she had worn during a sexual encounter with the President on February 28, 1997. According to Ms.
Lewinsky, she noticed stains on the garment the next time she took it from her closet. From their
location, she surmised that the stains were the President's semen."
-- Office of the Independent Counsel, Report to Congress
So in addition to telling at least eleven people about her affair with the President, the well-meaning Monica Lewinsky didn't wash her dress for a year and a half, just in case she needed those semen traces some day.
In the end, Monica Lewinsky will have the opportunity to make millions selling her memoirs, and the President's fate will be decided not by the American people, but by a Congress dominated by those who want to get him out of their way. Kenneth Starr and the assassins he serves have the stage now, and they will use the rumors and lurid stories to paint a picture of President Clinton as sinful, lying and weak.
Whether they succeed in removing President Clinton or merely crippling him, what we are witnessing is more a failure of the American political system than of a President. Such normal events as these should not result in the downfall of good leaders.
Fight strongly, Mr. President, and may the best man win.
View other articles by Clyde Verner.
Copyright © 1998
a trademark of Fathering Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved.